How To Treat Your Keyholder Correctly

By Tony Smalls

A quick guide for new male chastity participants on how to make your keyholder happy.

Your keyholder now has control over your favorite part of your body. Once you lock your cock in a male chastity cage, you have literally handed over the key to your happiness and pleasure. She will decide when (and IF) you ever get unlocked again.

With that in mind, I thought it would be a good idea to put together a few tips on how to treat your keyholder to help you earn your release.

What to Call Her

The way you address your keyholder can be a powerful and expressive sign of your devotion. Finding the right title for her can have a major influence over the power dynamic between you. Personally, I tend to call my keyholder Mistress though, Dominique goes by many names during our chastity play.

A lot of keyholders will use their everyday name outside of the chastity games, but you should call her something different when you’re serving her. This can help in the reinvention process. Calling her things like Mistress or Goddess helps you get into your new role and accept your new position… at her feet.

Discuss this with your keyholder. She might have a preferred term or an alias she’d rather go by when she is dominating you. If she chooses a preferred name to be called, do not disrespect her by calling her something else.

Other ideas for names can include: My Queen, Your Highness, or simply Ma’am.


Serving Around the House

In some chastity relationships, the male will become a servant or slave to the keyholder. This is usually rather common as, by doing chores can help prove your devotion to your Mistress. This, in turn, helps influence her decision on when to unlock you.

Show her through your labors what you are willing to do for her. There is no chore you should refuse. Do what is asked of you and she will reward you for your service.

If you underperform, don’t do what is asked, or show signs of disobedience, then she is well within her right to punish you. For ideas for punishments, check out Dominique’s 10 Ways to Discipline Your Submissive Male.

Just remember, if she asks you to do something, the only acceptable reply is: “Yes, Mistress.”


Giving Gifts

Another way to earn her favor can be to shower her with tokens of your adoration, both big and small. The presents you offer her should be thoughtful. Figure out something she would really love and cherish to shower her how much she means to you.

Be observant too. Look for things that make her smile, what she mentions fondly, things she hates, etc. Then, determine a gift that suits her. Doing so will mean your keyholder will love and appreciate it that much more.


Gift of Sex Toys

Don’t be shy about gifting your keyholder sex toys as well. Even though you’re locked in a cock cage, your keyholder still deserves to have all her sexual pleasures satisfied. Buy her toys she can use by herself or that you could use to stimulate her.

When buying sex toys, be sure to pick out ones that she would enjoy and is familiar with. Below are a couple of ideas for toys you can use on her while you’re locked:

  1. Vibrators and Dildos – something she can use by herself or you can incorporate with oral sex.
  2. Face Dildo – A great tool to fill her up while she rides your face. Facesitting can be a real turn on for both of you.
  3. Strap-on – This tool can be a great way to fuck her while your cock is still locked. She can also get additional pleasure using it on you….
  4. Tongue Vibrators – Another way to spice up your oral skills.
  5. G-Spot and Clitoral Simulators – Working a lot like a vibrator, these are specifically designed to stimulate her both externally and internally.


Final Thoughts

While it can be scary at first to give up control to a keyholder, it can be a highly rewarding experience. Just do what you’re supposed to and what you’re told. If your cock starts craving freedom and your balls ache to cum, figure out what more you could be doing. Do not pester your Mistress for a release.


Listen to her commands, obey, and worship her in the way she deserves.


Are you in a Chastity Relationship? What advice would you give people just starting out? Let me know in the comments below.

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